OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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