fuck your aforementioned shoe
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
