I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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