I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
