HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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