That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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