just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
