it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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