her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
