My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
