Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
