Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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