His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
