Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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