Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize