NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
