Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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