All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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