You can't special order awesome
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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