WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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