You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
