when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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