you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
