Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
