i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
