"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
