Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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