I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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