I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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