So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
