That's intense
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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