I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
