Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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