Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
