Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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