watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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