Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
