he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
