every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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