the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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