Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
