Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
