she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
