Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
