i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
