I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's shark week go big or go home
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
