i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
only if we run a train.
done.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
