It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
