Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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