this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
