First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
