she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
