So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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