Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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