Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
