how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
