Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
