you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
