What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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