Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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