I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
