Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Couch. On fire.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize